man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
