i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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