I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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