that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
