dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
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she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
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i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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