Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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