There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize