his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
