My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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