i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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