i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
