My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
