the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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