It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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