at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
