he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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