I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
