and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
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Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
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He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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