Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
