Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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