So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
