Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
