the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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