I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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