She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
