I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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