shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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