she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
