mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
