Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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