Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
