i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
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I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
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I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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