Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?