there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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