if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
