Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't

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(440): View more from Ohio

made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.

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(214): View more from Texas

Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(219): View more from Indiana

I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry

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(220): View more from

Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.

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(483): View more from

Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.

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