I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
