im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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