is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
