Are we in a gay sports bar?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
