She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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