spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
