New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
