I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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