but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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