At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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