Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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