There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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