Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Randomize
