Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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