oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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