White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
