Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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