is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
