great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
