Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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