My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
