Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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