Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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