To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
