ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
