I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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