he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i came on her dog
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
