Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
