drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Quick, to the slutcave!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
