you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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