He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
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He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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