ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
