Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
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I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
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I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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