i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize