Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
