Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Small penises have feelings too.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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