yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do