I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
