i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
